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HOW DO I TELL MY CHILD ? ? ?
My name is Freddie Lee Wright.
I am presently incarcerated on Alabama Death Row.
The question that I keep asking deals with my own personal life, and it's one of those questions that I should be able to answer myself, but I am unable to find the right answer no matter how hard, or how deep I search within. I guess over all it's a question that's probably being pondered by many other fellow death row inmates as you are reading this article. So, if there's anyone out there with an answer, please let me in on it.
The question is "how do I tell my child that I am under a sentence of death and most likely I won't be coming home again"???
I have some very beautiful children that's very sensitive and smart, and I love them all dearly. It's been twenty years since I had any real contact with them. One of the last times I was able to sit down with my wife and all of my children was in the summer of 1985. They are all young adults now but because I missed all of their growing up I still have pictures of them in my mind when they were still babies.
They needed answers the last time I held them in my arms and kissed their sweet little faces. I was contacted by one of my daughters after so many years has passed and once again confronted with the same question, the only difference now and then she is older smarter and able to understand. But the pain is just as deep and she still need real answers to her question. It's hard sometimes as I search within for the right words that isn't there when I really need them.
When they were babies they asked "Daddy when are you coming home and be with us??? My only reply was "Daddy is doing all he can to come home real soon.
While visiting with them one Friday, my youngest daughter (who was about ~1 years old at the time), said to me, "Daddy are you ready to go home yet??? "She said, "I told gran-gran, that you need a ride home, so we came to get you. then she said, "lets go daddy, the car is outside. "I looked into her beautiful little brown eyes, as I trying to tell my innocent little angel, that I couldn't go home with her right then in a way that she would understand that wouldn't break her little heart anymore then it was already being broken at that moment.
She was so sad, as my wife and I looked at each other and embraced her it brought tears to our hearts and eyes. As she just set there in my arms with her little hand in mine, not saying a word for more then an hour, I then looked at her and held her close while searching my mind in wonder as to what was going through her little mind while she was sitting there not saying a word.
When she did finally speak again, she said "Daddy why you don't want to go home with me??? You don't love me anymore, I am still a good little girl. At that moment it was as if I died inside, and all I could do was close my eyes any cry, some of the same tears that are falling from my eyes now as I think back to those moments.
My baby! My sweet precious little angel thought that I didn't love her and didn't want to go home with her anymore. So, again I ask you to please tell me, "how does a father on death row explain to his children that he is never coming home again???
How do I explain to them that I am not the monster that society makes me out to be, and that I am still their father, that love and adore them, and I long to be a part of their lives.
Words from a loving father,
Freddie Lee Wright, #Z-389
Holman #3700 Rm.
8U-7
Atmore, AL. 36503-3700
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