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Excerpts from Roy's letters:
January 14
*****Flooding all night
long and we still got recreation. I fugure
every day out of this
cell is a miracle in the making at this point.
_____ is on paper gown
and mask restriction, food loaf, no containers
(like all of us on F
Pod I guess), cell restriction and property
restriction for as long
as they can do it. ______ did the shit slinging
this time. Guess
he wants to fit in with the boys from/in hell. A
sergeant acted just like
Warden Chance just now. After the known hell
raisers throw on someone,
then he wants to bring a shield and do the sit
and fetch routine.
I was standing there and they set my tiny cup of tea
down. I picked
it up, and the seargent said, "Go sit" - I said
"______. I'm not
a ____ dog. You know who the throwers are, and now
you want to _____ everyone
who isn't. Take the tray, and shove it up
your ass!" Yes,
I said exactly that! Triplet, the decent guard, said
something to the idiot
sergeant, and he said, "Here, just take it
then!" So I got
to eat, and lo and behold, it even had dessert. (a
piece of ginger bread/brownie
type cake) Double cool. A decent size
piece of thigh and leg
of chicken, 5 spoons potato salad, 4 spoons
butter beans, 3 spoons
squash, and 2 tiny rocks they call biscuits, oh,
and I guess it's 4 or
5 oz of tea.****
*****Alvin and I went
to outside rec even tho it wasn't our day. It's
good to get to talk to
someone for a change now that I can't hear Lil
Jack hardly at all any
more. 20 cell has to stay empty to divide levels
2 and 3, Nancy.
These people are so damn stupid. All they boys that
constantly cause trouble,
flood, set fires, jack the slots, throw on
people, are on 2 row.
Floods only work from 2 row - effectively, that
is. No one on row
1 wants to flood because the water just stands in
your cell. I think
gravity comes into play here somewhere. Well, the
powers that be keep all
those guys on 2 row. All 8 management cells
(welded up on bottom
and sides) are on 1 row C section and 1 row B
section (1 cell # 21
Lil Jack). And Lil Jack has never thrown on anyone
and jacked his first
slot last week to get his property. Let's see, the
trouble makers, all level
3, are on 2 row. Level 2 guys trying to make
level 1 are on 1 row
B section and 1 and 2 row A section. Duh! They
could put all 22 level
3 guys on one row except one, and not have to
skip an empty sell to
separate level 2 and 3.*******
*****Alvin has written
Beverly George Bryan of C.U.R. E. and P. L. A. N.
concerning his medical
condition and the way Parras (Dr.?) of Polunsky
has treated him.
It's unreal! Alvin's blind in one eye since 1972, a
hemphiliac (bleeds real
easily, Factor 8 difficiency), found out 8/1/00
he has hepatitis C, and
has narrow shoulders where he hurts anytime they
try to use one set of
cuffs on him. He had a front handcuff pass at
Ellis. For over
a year he had a two cuff pass here, and then Porras
took it away. Alvin
filed Step 1 and 2 of Grievance, and even had a
hospital order a 2 cuff
pass, and Porras refused. Allergies cause
Alvin's good eye to go
75% blind, and Porras refused to give allergy
medicine to him.
Porras said "At Terrell, you just suffer with it; we
don't have to give you
anything". Alvin got scratched as a female guard
was cuffing him.
He bled like a stuck pig, and Alvin told her to go
wash with alcohol, that
he had hepatitis C. She flipped out. Still no
double cuff pass!!
Alvin's son, Kevin, called and threatened a
lawsuit. Major
Lester ran to Nurse Bryan screaming to get Alvin Kelly
down to see her and give
him a ___ 2 cuff pass. Alvin happened to be
sitting there at that
exact time getting his blood pressure taken. A
medical condition wont
get results - one over 25 years in records!
Calls from loved ones
threatening a lawsuit will!!*****
***** Oops!, I shouldn't
have said anything. Surf and I were they only
ones on 1 row that got
cake. He said it was German Chocolate. It's
been so long, I had forgot
what to call it.******
****** Yep - They are
trying to level people big time. Back to the
leash. (Nancy Note:
much of the next section is not printable, so I am
skipping over it).
I can just about guarantee I'm stuck back here now
because I refuse to be
treated like a dog - in any way. It will mean
losing more weight becuase
they will refuse me a meal if I won't do my
tricks, and I will never
do the tricks. I made it 35 days, what the
hell. They know
who the trouble makers are, this is unjust treatment.
Yes, I'm on Level 2 by
choice and should be there and conform to the
rules. I have for
45 days. These new rules are out of retaliation.
You remember how I explained
that I gained focus and direction during
the hunger strike?
Well, all that is being destroyed now by these
retaliatory actions by
Warden Chance. Rumors are that Chance wants to
run death row.
God forbid! I will tell you how anxious and frustrated
I am. I feel like
saying to hell with it and being ______ times ten.
I have the will power
and strong desire to continue on a non-violent
path. It's just
the inciteful episodes I lose control over. Reading
the Bible or punching
my rolled up mattress helps, but I fear one idiot
will win out and set
me off immediately. I love destroying the
embiciles with my verbage
I preplan. Nancy, it's choice to see their
questioning expression
of whether they should agree, be mad, be
insulted, or do an all
out attack on me. Captain Bacon gave me a LOOK
when I said his niggling
rules he was enforcing were going to get him a
firey seat next to the
fallen angel on Judgement Day. He kept blinking
and waiting for me to
say more. I don't think the man likes me very
much.******
*****It's after 7 PM.
Meals have still not been served. Some
population rank I've
never seen before came on the wing and shut down
chow until the feces
and urine was totally cleaned up and a sanitizing
liquid used. Believe
it or not, they do this on 2 row (B section above
me) where the incident
happened and throw the shit stained towels to 1
row in front of my cell,
spill shit water down the stairs in front of
Lil Jack's cell, then
come down here and only sweep the stuff into a
pile outside the section.
It literally took "going off" to get the
floor cleaned right.
First, they tried to use just the mop they had
used to clean up the
shit water in 2 row without rinsing it out. Lil
Jack and I went off,
and a different mop and more chemicals got used on
1 row. Yes, Nancy,
they are that stupid*******
January 15
*******I am not getting
rec today. Welder's show up to work on C
section so I cannot have
my rec. Decent guards working are saying this
is all bull shit - the
way we are being treated and the rules being
enforced. One even
said he had had about enough because "rank is
putting him in danger"
with treating us this way - that someone will get
fed up and strike out
at whoever is working.
The
welders are putting "food slot cages" on the door in C Section -
a cage the guard sets
the tray in and then backs away after opening the
slot - where a prisoner
cant throw anything on them.*********
******_____ jacked the
slot (arm hanging out slot) and will be gassed in
a few minutes.
Now _____ (property) just came in to talk to him. His
property was returned
and was missing address books, envelopes, stamps,
legal papers, tic.
These people do not repond unless an aggressive or
violent act forces them
to. Not just guards, it's rank from sergents up
to wardens. Prisoners
know this. Enough run-ins and gassings, floods,
fires, jacked slots,
jacked rec yards, etc, then compromises are made.
One guard on the wing
just left to suit up to run in on _____. He keeps
saying he is just having
fun because he gets so bored and frustrated in
the cell 23 hour - 24
hours for him. He didn't act up at Ellis - was on
the work program and
a porter even. Guess I need to close for awhile to
get ready for the gas
flowing over from two to one row. "Hotel Hell
lives on". Bye******
******Let's describe today's
gassing. Two orders to give up the food
slot, back up and submit
to a strip search. _____ does not even
comment. A five
minute wait - then no orders - just a can of gas is
shot on him, in his face.
Before this all starts, the guards try to
talk him out of doing
this. Then a sergeant comes and tries. Then a
lieutenant comes in and
orders the run in team. All air circulation to
the pod is turned off
(so everyone gets the gas on them) - it's like an
invisable fog that spreads
and takes away oxygen as it goes. Rolled up
toilet paper in the nose
(wet) and a cloth, sock, towel, toilet paper in
the mouth (wet) avoids
getting too much. Another can sprayed, seconds
later the run in team
slams the door open with his arm in danger of
being broken if he doesn't
move it. The sound of his body hitting the
floor is unreal.
______actually asked him if ______ wanted to shower
now. A fire is
going somewhere on the wing now. _____ isn't coughing
or sneezing at all.
He is used to it completely. ______ is trying to
explain how giving him
the property which he asked for which he is
allowed to have is why
he did this. He says it will happen until they
quit abusing him by not
following the rules to inflict more punishment
on him. His food
loaf was thrown on the floor in the process, and now
they won't give him anything
to eat. The whole wing (A, B, and C is
going off, beating the
doors, and screaming to feed _____, and to quit
_____ with every one
back here. Now C section has to be fed. I
wouldn't doubt another
run in team will be going in where the fire is.
The siren for the whole
unit is going off again. It's a common thing
now. The camera
is supposed to be rolling the whole time the situation
is happening, but is
usually cut off during part of it. That is when
the team slams the prisoner.
Then still pictures are taken through the
double wire and plastic
on the door - like anything can be seen.
Guess I'm getting use
to the gas too, or my methods to not breathe it
are getting better.
When will the guards and rank learn. Now the
floods will start.
Every prisoner knows it, but the TDCJ staff act like
they are totally surprised
each time. It doesn't bother me anymore. I
lay back and think of
a tropical island with a waterfall next to my
window (smile).
I'm out of newspaper to roll up and stuff under the
door so underwear and
socks are all I have******
******Idiots are turning
my water off. One row doesn't do flooding. It
would be stupid!
Oh, it's worse than that. The sinks are turned off.
No cups, no cans of soda,
now no water at all. It just proves, they can
treat us anyway they
want. An incident happens, and everyone gets the
water shut off. ********
******Hell just got hotter.
Birdman just got put in 20 cell!!!!! Level
3, I assume, since he
was brought down the hallway in underwear only.
The Death Row Plan states
there has to be an empty cell or prisoners
have to be on different
rows that are on different levels. I asked Lt.
Bolton how he can do
it, and he said "The rules have been changed." Do
something, anything!
I will be sending I 60s in tonight demanding the
rules be followed. Please
back me up on this! Bolton is lying his ass
off - guaranteed.
They told me and Lil Jack they had to move him from
20 to 21 cell because
of the leveling rules!******
******They let me rec!!
Now the whistling ____ is going contantly and
beating on the shelves
that back up to my cell and his cell. If they
refuse to move me (violating
policy) I will be forced to jack the rec
room or slot to be moved.
Seriously. I somehow withstood it for the
hunger strike days, I
refuse to be subjected to this type torture
again. Believe
me, they know he drives everyone around him crazy. They
put him next to people
to get them to go off and get a case or leveled.
I will give this present
situation one week to be resoved from today,
they I take action on
my own to be moved regardless of what level it
will be. Seriously!
You cannot imagine the frustration, Nancy. My
shelves sound like drums
when he beats on his. Trust me. I've. reached
my limit already.
Please come see me and talk to someone in person.
The "energizer bunny"
has nothing on this asshole. I honestly don't
know how he can keep
doing it so long. The anger outweights the
amazement, though!******
***** It's about midnight.
I've calmed down a litle but, but the
whistler has been non-stop
since 8 or so. I'm sending I-60s to several
others to try to be moved
before I do something stupid.*****
January 16
***It appears the rank
has a "new system" devised to keep Level 3 on
Level 3. Hank's
"shakedown" attempt was videotaped to say he refused a
direct order to submit
to a strip search and cell search. They just
show up with 6 or 7 guards
not dressed in riot gear, one with a video
camera. How do
I know this for a fact? Because at 5:15 AM they did the
exact same thing to DW
(in 27 cell, above ), and he submitted and let
hem cuff him and search.
He was asking all the right questions as they
held him on the catwalk
and tore up his cell. Remarkably the wing was
quiet where everyone
could hear his questions and the guard's
responses. Luckily
it was 3 guards DW gets along with In answer to one
of this questions ""Aw,
this is some new bullshit to harrass anyone we
want to keep under control".
This was Alexander talking.*****
****I still do not know
what breafast was. They gave us 2 pieces of
bread, a tsp of cheese,
4 tsp of I guess potato soup, or I don't know
(Alvin wrote that he
couldn't figure it out either), milk and coffee if
you had a container (I
did - made it out of carboard and some saran
wrap) no cups for coffee
at breakfast will be given out anymore. Why?
Because they can!
Now, I knew there was something weird going on at
lunch. The sergeant
was passing it out - like a scared bitch - with a
shield held in front
of everyone's door. No sit and fetch, but scary
shit. It was a
cheeseburger with 3 pickle slices!!!!, 4 spoons
potatoes, 2 spoons mexed
vegetables, 4 spoons beans, the tiny blue cup
of tea - I put my crafted
cup out and the sergeant said, "If I fill it,
I confiscate it!" - Not!
And a piece of cake with white icing!!!! It was
about 4" x 4" x1" thick.
I asked - All one row got the cake, too.
Weird stuff going on.
Then, Frank called out to look out the window.
Jamarr Arnold's date
is today. I did not snap. Good meal? There were
at least 3 crews of cameramen
leaving "in a hurry" when I looked out the
window. Of course
- "Mad Killer - Our Kind Of Animal To Display". (
Fitzgerald's sure to
say on this) I know the food here is getting
publicity. So -
there are some reporters here - "Serve an almost decent
meal, just small portions
and cold as ice. I can hear Fitzgerald - Tell
em, boy, what you had
for lunch!*****
*****Birdman has been
going since 8 or 9 AM. I just got my first law
library stuff of 2002
at 6 AM (Nancy note: Following, a lengthy
description of what's
in the law books) Now, if I could only
concentrate. Both
guards and sergeant Shuman said there has to be an
empty cell between Level
2 and Level 3*******
****No rec again due to
welding. Maybe, later they said. Concerning
your letter, you should
know we can't communicate merely by the hour
long letters I write
you!! Also, you have no idea what the visits mean
to me, especially when
back here. Outside rec is a blessing to get to
speak face to face (through
wire and bars) to each other. It is as bad
as I have discribed.
I've told you time and again that I won't
embelish, and I haven't.
When I say cold food, I mean room temperature
or colder. When
I say maddening noise (like right this damn second), I
mean it gives you anxiety
attacks and a pressure headache!****
*****Nancy, I know it
is difficult for people to understand why the men
here behave as they do,
like monkeys in a zoo, throwing feces and urine
at their tormentors.
Please think this through, Nancy. Some men are
not as strong as others.
Some men have lost their sense of reality and
dignity. Some have
given up and are now striking out at everyone
(guards and prisoners).
Some are white, some are black, and some are
Hispanic. Some
are just plain crazy. The question is: THEIR HISTORY.
Did they act like this
at Ellis? When in the free world? When in
prison before?
While awaiting their trial? (Remember, I had an episode
where a Columbian got
slammed by guards, and I got beat up - said to be
resisting!)
You will find in about 90% of the cases that none of
these guys did anything
violent, any type "throwing on" or jacking cuffs
or being combative.
It is the isolation and social deprivation,
psychological torture
we are enduring that leads to these animalistic
activities. How
can I explain it so that it makes some sense. You
think men being gassed,
beaten, treated like savage animals, starved,
dehumanized, demoralized,
taunted, told how proud their mom must be of
how they turned out -
if you think suicide or dropping their appeals
has not crossed those
minds many many times, then you are not being
realistic. I won't
say who, but I've been told by two men how they sat
and slashed their arms,
one after hearing bad news from a court and
another after receiving
a kind of "Dear John letter" by his only
supporter in the world.******
***** Guard Beard just
said no rec today. Punishment on top of
punishment. Why
no rec? Because they can. Excuse? The welding crew
was in here for 2 1/2
hours. Uh - That leaves 21 1/2 hours to still rec
us! Grievance policy:
One grievance every 7 days! On F Pod, you need
to file one every day!
Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day! Like a grievance
matters. What will
this punishment result in? More throwing on guards,
more floods, more fires,
more jacked slots, more gassings, and running
ins, etc. Why do
that? What are you, animals? No, it's called being
fed up with being abused
and tortured by sinister assholes - because
they can get away with
it! I'm pissed - I get (supposed to) 4 days a
week out to rec.
So what? Just say too bad, I lost it? If you were
locked in a closet and
knew you got 3 hours a week to walk around (1
outside) and your tormentor
jacked you for any of that time, what would
you do, Nancy?
Write a grievance? Ha Ha! Call out to a ranking
officer? Ha Ha!
You might say "It's only one hour lost". OK, how many
times will you let them
take an hour before you "non-violently
protest"? What
would it take to progress to violence, Nancy? What, a
week of abuse?
A month? Two years? Getting notice you will soon be
killed like a rabid animal?
When is enough torture enough, Nancy. I
would never resort to
the point of throwing on someone "if" I stayed
sane, Nancy.
Second
shift says "no rec". Nancy, I've lost it! You have no idea
what it's like to be
treated any way they decide to treat you. No rec
because all Level 3 are
being moved to F and E section F Pod! Birdman,
Lil Jack, all B 2 row,
and all C section are being moved. It's to weld
the doors, no doubt!
So, they will be moving us next, to weld our
doors, too. This
also means no rec for a month or so - just watch!
2002 is not going to
be a good year! At least Birdman is gone "for
now". They may
move everyone back exactly where they were******
***** If something doesn't
change on the food or if some supplements
don't come along, I will
be 200 or less by 2/28/92. Size 28 jumper and
underwear fit now.****
****** Bad news, Guards
say F - F Pod already has the food cage oner the
slots and that is where
Level 3 is staying! They will still be making
all of C, B, and A sections
management cells, too. Welded up tight.
Information I was given
states that it's unconstituional to house anyone
in a management cell
over 30 days at a time. How can they do this?
This is barbaric treatment.
Will society truly allow such treatment of
prisoners? I can't
sleep. K 9 and Surf got the scoop on what is being
planned for us.
I wish I hadn't heard
I
am seriously worried about Lil Jack. Think of having an insulin
shock happen - knowing
it's going on - and there is no way to call out
or get medical help.
I saw his mood swings when his sugar got messed up
due to delays in feeding
us. Now there's no way he can get supplemental
food. Yes, the
night (breakfast) nurse gives him a peanut butter
sandwich (because of
only 2 shots instead of 3) to have for
emergencies. Oh,
boy! After what happened to Eddie Rowton, I'm afraid
it will happen again.
Especially if those guys keep getting gassed and
beaten.****
January 17
****Alvin was told no
rec until all welding was done. Now that could
mean for the day or for
the year. Yesterday they refused us rec because
of incidents and then
moving 23 Level 3 prisoners. Today they will use
whatever excuse they
want to. It's obviously continued retaliation.
There are only 19 Level
2 prisoners.******
**** The cells Level 3
are in are beyond horrible. Alvin saw 6 more of
the food slot boxes being
wheeled into D section. Loks like at least D,
E, and F sections will
all be management cells. It is
unconsitutional!*****
**** I have Time Magazine
to read, and then back to my book. Talk about
a long week! No
rec since my lucky one hour on Tuesday. Lock a dog in
a closet all day and
see how it acts as you open the door for the first
time. Cats too!
They either race past you or attack you. Poor dumb
animals. Us, not the
pets! We had 17 days before. Now it's starting
all over again "on F
Pod anyway". They had all that time before the
move in 2000 to do whatever
they needed to do for arriving death row
prisoners.*****
*****Lunch? 3" sausage
link, 2 bread, 4 spoonss potato, 4 spoons of
green beans, 5 sppoons
of lima beas, tea, and crumbs from where a piece
of cake was taken off
each tray. Sergeant's pass out trays, and leave
it on - asshole guards
take off the dessert Why? They are stuffing
their face with it and
laughing about everyone complaining about it and
how cold the food was.
The lima beans were so cold the whole section
would be lifted out by
sticking the spoon in the center of it. These
meals will not meet any
nutritional requirement mandated by law.*****
*****A sergent showed
up and said he will check on getting our cups and
shampoo back since it
was level 3 that caused the unwarranted container
restriction. He
said he's see about our getting rec and check on
haircuts for several
guys. He also said he'd check on why the food was
cold again. I would
bet the farm we won't see him again, today.******
*****I seriously doubt
we will get rec today. The sorry assholes. This
just shows how they skirt
around their own rules so as to make things
worse for us. Lunch
was completely over by 10:30 AM (only 42 men on all
F Pod now), and the welding
crew was gone for the day. Of course the
welding crews 2 or 3
hours of work a day will allow these assholes to
deny us rec from now
on. Yes, I'm pissed, and this type treatment is
exactly what they do
to us to incite violent acts. I just looked at who
is working the wing.
No way we will get rec - maybe not even showers!
Drew and some new boot.*****
*****Drew said ":no rec",
showers only and refused to call and get a
ranking officer here
or to even give a name of whose decision this is.
It's obvious they want
violence and aggressive behavior. This will be 5
days Wed - Sat without
recreation, and it will be "no rec" all next
week, too. Assholes!****
****K9 was told that Warden
Chance instructed the staff that C and B
sections were not allowed
to get back their/our cups or shampoo.*****
****There is no reason
they counln't allow a small food spend for
commissary for Level
2 and 3. I think it's inhumane. I understand your
statement that the food
trays should be enough, but realistically, even
if a temporary change
is forced, it will resort back as soon as TDCJ
wants to. Come
on, Nancy, it used to be Vita Pro!! Enough said*****
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