Recently, the TV program '48 Hours' broadcast a program entitled 'My
Daughter’s Killer'. It detailed Mitzi Ann Nalby who was murdered in 1986
in Austin, Texas on her 21st birthday by John Wayne Nobles. The program
revolves around her mother, Paula Kirkland, who struggles over the
protestations of family and friends who do not understand her desire to
meet face to face with her daughter’s killer. Texas is one of a number
of states that provide facilities whereby the prisoner and victim or
victim’s family members can undergo a series of counseling sessions with
a prison counselor that will prepare them for a face to face meeting
accompanied by the counselor.

The murder was both gruesome and needless. Nobles broke into the house
through the back door. Mitzi and some girl friends had returned from
celebrating her 21st birthday. Mitzi was stabbed 28 times and died. Her
boy friend, Ron Ross, was sleeping in another room. He awoke and was
stabbed 19 times. He ran outside the house where he collapsed. A
neighbour called the police. In the struggle, Nobles was cut. Police
followed a trail of blood when witnesses told them that Nobles had asked
them for bandages and bandaids. Nobles was caught. He confessed on tape.
He never showed remorse nor took responsibility for the crime, but
rather blamed his bad childhood, mental problems and drug abuse. After a
month-long trial, the jury took just three hours to find him guilty. He
received the death penalty.

For many years Nobles refused to participate in the process that would
lead to a face to face meeting with Paula Kirkland. In the twelve years
since the crime, Nobles undergoes positive changes. He sincerely finds
religion. Finally he overcomes his denial and agrees to counseling as
preparation for a meeting with Paula.

A large portion of the program is devoted to chronicling the pain and
suffering that Paula goes through. A home-made cedar chest serves as a
shrine to Mitzi. It holds memories for Paula, who says that she wants to
tell Nobles what he has done to her life. How much pain and suffering he
has caused. What a monster he is. Then reconciliation and closure can
occur.

One begins to suspect her motives of reconciliation and closure when she
objects to Nobles’ participation in a program that allows prisoners,
even on condemned row, to donate vital organs in return for a reduced
sentence. She sees this as a ploy by Nobles, a way to cheat   her out of
her closure. And worse, by donating organs, there would be more of 'him'
walking around inside other people. She would thus be taunted. Perish
the thought, more Nobles in this world!

The day comes when they meet face to face. Paula wears a photo of Mitzi
on her dress to remind Nobles of his actions. She gets a blessing from
the prison priest. She loudly tells him how he has ruined her life and
caused her so much pain. He breaks down in tears and apologizes to her.
He acknowledges that he can never comprehend her pain. That death is
easy compared to this meeting with her. She breaks down, and they take a
break. The entire meeting takes a full day. When she returns, they agree
on how much of a monster he was. He states: 'If I could give my life to
bring her back, I would.' She tells him that this is not enough. He is
still remorseful, and says: 'Sorry is not enough, I brought harm into
your life - sorry is cheap.' He has tried to change his life. Again he
apologizes. She can not forgive him, but she can give him forgiveness.
Her God makes her do this. Forgiveness or not, she tells him she still
wants to watch him die.

As execution day approaches, Paula states that she will finally get her
life back. And if he does not die, if he gets a commutation, then what?
Will her obsession for revenge drive her crazy and cause more pain? This
is a possibility because Paula, like so many other victims, live only in
the world of pain caused by the crime. They can not see the present.
They rarely comprehend that death row prisoners can come to grips with
the tragedy and be genuinely remorseful of their crimes. That we can
never be rehabilitated.

Nobles’ request to donate organs is turned down. Now she worries that
governor Bush may commute his death sentence. He does not. She is going
to witness his execution. From his gurney he tells Paula he loves her
and again says how sorry he is. Then he starts singing 'Silent Night'
until the poison that is flowing into his veins silences him forever.

After the execution, she receives an envelope left from him to her. It
contains a religious medal. She is shown putting it into the cedar chest
that holds Mitzi’s memories. The program ends there, but not this
article.

As a death row prisoner, some who read the following may assume I am
being insensitive to the theory of closure. I plead 'no contest'. In a
society that is so fueled by hatred and revenge toward criminals, many
victims and their families are told by prosecutors  that they are being
disloyal to the person who died if they don’t want the murderer to die
as well. The pressure leads them to believe that killing the killer is
somehow going to make them whole again. This is not so. What this does
is to allow them to be angry and hateful. When the execution is
completed, all of these expectations of instant healing are not
realized. Where is the closure? It was only false hope. There can never
really be closure simply by killing another human being. We are just
compounding the specter of pain and barbarity. The grief must be dealt
with individually by the victim.

Execution is not the 'magic pill' to right the wrongs of society. Should
we stoop to the level of the killer? Are we not better?

Closure is a cruel hoax. It is a neologistic term, a new word to give
false hope and more pain to victims. It is the 'pie in the sky' solution
that more often plummets back down to earth so quickly and causes more
pain than it ever eases. It is a 'crap shoot' thrown with loaded dice.
What are we teaching our children when we as a society kill in the name
of justice? We only teach them that it is good to hate and kill for
revenge. Vengeance by definition is 'excessive'. The relief sought is
sour. The false hopes and jingoistic pronouncements of politicians and
prosecutors who seek votes by fueling and fooling victims into clutching
onto closure as a resolution of their anguish is a cruel trick. The
sooner individuals come to terms with their loss, the sooner they will
have peace. To be persuaded to wait years, decades even, in the false
hope that the act of execution will end the grief and pain is a crime in
itself. Closure does not occur by killing again. Execution is not the
solution. Is it not time to end this madness and stop the pain?

........................................................................

Richard Rossi, 50337
Death Row
ASPC Eyman, G-42
PO Box 3400
FLORENCE, Arizona 85232
USA