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OVER THE EDGE - BY PAUL COLELLA
The silence from a lot of my fellow
condemed brethern astounds and
dismays me. Our problem lies in this
silence because unless we speak out
no one will know the depression and
anxiety and utter feelings of
helplessness and despair we are made
to endure. We as condemned men are
already under huge amounts of stress
and mental anguish which is
compounded daily by the mental and
physical torture we endure. Yet the
administration refuses to acknowledge
that there is a problem because so
many of us suffer in silence.
There are a handful of us who raise
cain protest and just try to be a
pain in the butt as much as possible
but our efforts are shot down by
the administration who define us as
troublemakers by saying look there
are over 450 men here and 430 of them
are content which we all know is
total bs. Larry Todd and Larry Fitzgerald
would have fit in very nicely
with Hitlers propoganda machine. They
lie oh how they lie but how can we
as condemned men prove this? I know
several men here who are slowly
fading from reality. The depression
and despair so overwhelming in them
that they lay on their beds and stare
at the walls for hours. They may
not know who to talk to or who to write
to. They suffer in silence
afraid to speak out in fear of retaliation
which is so prevolent here at
Polunsky.
I think I can safely say we here on
death row are not content most just
dont understand that if they speak
out or if they raise cain if they
protest the conditions and treatment
they can make a difference. It may
not be overnight.They may lose some
of the material things they hold so
dear but things will change if we speak
out. Let the world know what is
going on. There is no shame in depression
and despair. There is no shame
in asking for help ... The shame lies
in our silence.
I have been on death row for 9 years
7 of those spent at Ellis where
social interaction and creative expression
was allowed. Where some TV
and newspapers were allowed and where
if a problem arose someone got to
the bottom of it before it escalated.
These last 2 years have been hell.
I have watched men slowly deterorate
. Guys just lay around. Guys are
losing their minds. I just recently
read an article in the Jan 27 issue
of The Dallas Morning News about Monty
Delk called a troubled man or a
wily dodger? They questoin Montys sickness.
I have lived around him for
years if he is faking he missed his
calling. He could have made millions
in Hollywood. I have seen him do things
no sane man could do. He lost
his mind after coming to death row.
Others who have gone over the edge
rather than deal with life under such
extreme torture are Emanuel Kemp
Charles Mines, Shhid Babini, Victor
Saldono, Alen Ripkowski and the list
grows. Some try to hide the signs of
insanity. Some don't even know they
are slipping over the edge. How many
more will have to? If you have a
loved one at Polunsky death row Please
encourage them to at least speak
up as to what they are enduring before
they too go OVER THE EDGE.....
By Paul Colella
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