"Am I Dead or Alive ?"...

I was kidnapped from my mothers womb,  and placed into a concrete tomb -
becoming a "ward" of the state, was supposed to give me a fighting chance, ... but
in 'reality' it was the beginning of a life of 'tears shed,' 'blood spilled,' and 'heartaches suffered.' - that have yet to "END"...transformed from a young man-child, with visions of "being all I could be," - into a young menace to society, with the mentality that  "being a Gangsta," was my only true "destiny."  Valued, and viewed as 3/5ths of a human being by American society - so why does my counter-productive actions, "shock-stun-or surprise" those who helped create me....?  Could it be that the 99 1/2 lies they told me about my 'roots' - is starting to crumble under the "Burden of TRUTH" that I continue to learn ... or...could it be that the wrong they done to my ancestors, is coming back to haunt them...?  They ' castrated whipped and hung' my ancestors all in the name of 'God' money and fun - but that was before, easy access to the 'gun' had come...So now that the odds are a little more fair - the 'rules and laws' have changed, and screams of "Justice"  (for Just-us) echo through the air - So instead of the "knife" its the PEN they use to 'cut' me...instead of the "WHIP" - its the jury they use to 'scar and punish' me...and...instead of the 'hooded Klan'  - its the Robed Judge they use to sanction the 'hanging.'  So even though the tactics have changed - the 'end 'results remain the same...From cotton fields to concrete cages - how much more blood will thjey be allowed to spill - before the masses make themfoot the bill- I sit in a cage invoked with 'rage' - Tell me
"Am I Dead Or Alive?"...
My soul is on fire - but - my blood runs cold...
My mind moves at warp speed - but - my body is 'restricted' from responding...
My ears hear numbing screams - but - my eyes only see darkness...
My emotions are on dry ice - but - my chest contains enough passion to cause thunder and lighting and rain...
My ability to 'love' has vanished - but - my desire to be loved, is strong enough to offset this planet...
In my most beautiful fantasy I die - but in my most horrific nightmares I always survive...so tell me...

Branded an "Abomination," when I was "free" and "Denounced" as a Aparation now that I am caged...I continuously "form and transform and reform"  myself - I've been a pimp and a player - but now - I've 'reclaimed' my humanity and respect all women regardless of color and creed...I've been a Gangsta and a street thug - but now - I'm a staunch soul-jah who embraces the concept of "ONE LOVE."...I've been a drug dealer and a drug user but now I only "INHALE" words and I only "EXHALE" ideas...I've been a re-actionary child and a lil boy with a twisted mentality - but now - I'm a "man" with "patience and self control and awareness"...I've been a mis-educated slave full of hate towards my own race - but now - I'm a 'king' full of wisdom and knowledge and understanding and a vision of 'unity'...I've been on one side of "day light" - but now - I'm on the other side of "midnight",...I've been where you're going - but I'm also from where you've been...I've been at the very top - but now - I'm at the very bottom ...So tell me...
                                "Am I Dead Or Alive?"
Standing strong even if it means standing alone...I am the first person to 'overstand' - and - I'm the last person to be 'understood'...
Sometimes I walk - and - sometimes I stride ...
Sometimes I frown - and - sometimes I smile...
Sometimes I move above the surface - and - sometimes I move below the surface...
Sometimes I sit in this concrete and steel cage, thinking a brighter day has to come - and -
Sometimes I sit in this concrete and steel cage thinking about how many (?) have rolled away
Sometimes late at night, I drop to my knees, and pray, and pray, and pray, and...
Sometimes late at night, I lay awake unable to sleep, consumed with raw and uncut rage -
Sometimes I can feel tears cascade on the inside and - sometimes I
can't stop the blood that spills from my eyes...Sometimes I struggle and sometimes I strive...Sometimes I wonder will I 'survive'...So please tell me...
"Am I Dead Or Alive?"...

Written by PLaP
Paris  La Powell
Accept it or reject it
But please 'respect' it...
To : Tracy and Dave, CCADP

I'm "ONE"  who embraces the three "L" concept - "Look + Listen + Learn"...I believe "One" should always take time to "look" beyond a persons physical appearance, and beyond their physical surroundings - before making a "assumption", that what they "see" - is all that "Exist"...I believe "One" should always take time to "listen" to what a person has to say - before "assuming" that whats been said - is the "full story" ... I believe that if "One" looks hard enough and listens long enough - they will "learn" enough to make a "factual" conclusion rather or not a person should be considered a "friend or foe."  I'm "One" who is about growth and development and I spend my time "reading and writing" and studying and thinking, despite my concrete and steel surroundings - my desire for knowledge and wisdom and under + overstanding burns brightly...I'm "One" who refuses to allow the physical restraints that hold me hostage, ie concrete walls and steel bars, peons with guns, etc...to also restrain me "mentally and spiritually" - Thus I stay "World Orientated" - while striving to obtain my own freedom...So if you (female and male and young and old and regardless of race - creed - beliefs etc. )  would like to 'rotate' letters that are 'realistic', feel free to write...Although the poem included in this outline is "factual", - its but a mere fraction of "who I was and who I am,"  and of who I strive to become...I welcome any questions or comments - but please no assumptions or pity ...The 'hardship' I struggled through - and survived, is what 'now' enables me to sustain and absorb the 'shocks and strains' my current situation brings 24-7 / 365 days a year until I hear from "whomever"  - I'll remain, as I came ...Staunch and Strong.   PLaP

                Mr. Paris Powell  #254976
                H Unit  OSP
                PO Box 97
                McAlester Oklahoma 74502 USA
 

          The images below were DELETED by NBCi in April 2001

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