BY NORMAN "JERRY" GREEN
Executed By Texas February 24, 1999
A TRUE VIEW
A Writing On Death Row From Death Row
BY NORMAN "JERRY" GREEN
Executed By Texas February 24, 1999
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Norman was executed by
the state of Texas on February 24, 1999. We at the CCADP recieved
the last letter Norman wrote us days after his execution. Included
in the letter, addressed to Tracy Lamourie and Dave Parkinson, was the
following essay about life on death row...and these words, ( a portion
of the letter) ---
"...As to linking me in on your site I
truly appreciate it, in fact I'm sending you something that I wrote a long
time ago...well, a few years ago when there was an HBO film crew here...they
did a special on death row, we didn't get to see it because right before
time for it to be aired TDC discontinued HBO and Cinemax. Even though
I didn't see it I knew they would never know what it feels like from an
in depth - soulful aspect. So if there's anyway that you may get
my "True View" on the net that would be great..." (NORMAN GREEN)
To Whom's concerned;
I spoke with a young lady once that was with a film crew from HBO, they were doing (what they said) a documentary on death row...she seemed all excited that this was taking place, but of all things the true source of her excitement was the guy that was going to write the story; she kept saying he's a prize winning writer...I just stood there looking at her trying to sell this guy to me. :) All the time thinking to myself 'those who classified the guy as being prize winning is whom I'd love to meet...reason being that those individuals who "support" and "finance" the writer is 90% (percent) of who the writer truly is!!!
Anyway, I too am an individual who loves expressing myself with the method of ink on paper...At this time I'd like to speak on the comments and reasons given to me by the young lady as to why they wanted to do a story about death row...She said they were doing the story intending to show what its like being on death row!!! With hearing this, immediately questions began bubbling inside of me....things such as in what manner will they present their findings?...Who is going to really be in control; "the writer," "the film crew," "Both," or "the financers?" ...I will admit that these questions began causing negative emotions to surface within my heart and soul...because I honestly feel deep within my heart no one thats not temporarily assigned to death row could ever come close to knowing or feeling what its like being here...many of whom are here has their very own "different" opinions, feelings, and emotions.
Sure there are many who share similarities, but even in the everyday ordinaried and functions everyne will share a difference of opinions...In this system we function as one, but even in these same motions and activities they hold different meanings...
No film crew or "anyone" else could begin to imagine what I'm going through physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, "...No one could ever begin to think of my feelings - the way I presently feel, or the way I felt when this all started...
I honestly ask do you believe HBO or a prize winning writer could begin thinking, better yet begin "feeling" how it actually feels to be sitting in front of people, held as the focus of scrutiny, ardently denounced before all who care to listen, knowing that the most ordinary provisions of a decent life, "common trust," "personal respect," and "liberty" were now like a cloak you checked at the door and may never retrieve. Its an awful fear, then there's frustration and last a hunted seperateness. This is what one fears on the same level as death...not knowing whats going to happen!!! So you trust your entire life future to the hands of others. Hoping and praying that they somehow see and understand you even in your silence. ..understand that it is a game for those of a different society and we are only subjects not players. We could never lose nor win but in reality be victimized for our lives will forever be effected while others see who can influence their future the highest and the fastest.
Here's something I wrote one day in court while others dictated my life...the individuals listed along with their titles will help better understand whats written in the poem...
CHARACTERS
John Causey -
My attorney
Rob - The State's
attorney
Mark - The State's
attorney
Here I sit
so very alone
Contemplating
my future, never to go home,
Looking over
the weeks past game plan
And how my
life rests in 15 individual's hands...
First Mr John
Causey, my attorney
Standing tall
and hard for his money
Then there's
Rob, the gentle but deadly one,
Would look
you in the eye, make you feel his were a gun.
Then there's
Mark, who'd take a life in the bat of an eye
Success, happiness,
is the cause for his sigh
Last, surely
not least, there's the jury
Who'd allow
their minds and hearts to be filled with fury...
In the end
the truth will prevail
And God will
send all wrong doers straight to Hell
I'm not mad
at anyone whatsoever
Because in
my heart the truth, and peace
will hang
forever.....
BY NORMAN
Its said life is a big play and we all are actors with a role in it; this is very true...only the role we play are those of puppets dangling from a string and once their finished they cut the string letting us drop to the floor no longer with life...
Therefore I'd
honestly have to say that no writer (prize winning or not) could do death
row any justice with a weeks visit...Even if a writer male or female were
to spend a full year on the row they would never or could ever truly experience
the situation from a "soulful" and "spiritual" level...Reason being....
They would only
be visiting.
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