Texecuted January 21,
2004
Kevin Zimmerman
Texas Death Row
Kevin Zimmerman,
who had given up his appeals, was executed January 21, 2004
"In the name of Jesus, I’m so sorry for the
pain I’ve caused y’all...I’m sorry. Gilbert didn’t deserve to die,
and I want you to know I’m sorry...I pray the good Lord
will give y’all peace.”
- From Kevin's last words,
speaking to the family of the victim.
Essays
By Kevin Zimmerman
A TESTIMONY
OF FAITH - by Kevin Zimmerman
Unaware of it at the time, God and God alone was removing the bitterness,
hate and even desire for revenge from my heart ever so slowly, which became
noticeably so as far back as 1995. A revenge over my life being sought
by the State of Texas with the same evil of premeditation in which their
justice system had condemned me.
Nevertheless, however, a fear of dying had emerged within myself in believing
that I would go to hell. As a result, I drank coffee to sty awake
as long as possible, feeling dead inside and yet alive.
In 1997 I met this Christian who would always try to get me to go to church
with him. "I've tried that jailhouse religion before and I will not be a
hypocrite by going to church for an hour only to go do all sorts of ungodly
acts for the rest of the week as I've done before," was my response.
I knew of God, yes, but I never knew Him in any personal way and really
did not care to know Him because of my past. In June or July of 1997 this
same
Christian was fellow-worshiping with another Christian about the tender
mercies of God who would forgive anybody that would call on Him with an
humble and broken heart, willing to confess their sins and to repent. And
while working on the jewelry box that day, I could not help but hear this
conversation - as it was fairly quiet - I was hearing and I just had to
put my work down.
Desperately needing to hear more, I went near my door to hear better. The
more I heard, I could only cry ever so quietly, "Could and would He forgive
me too?" was all I kept asking myself.
The following week, I put in a request to get on the church list and started
going shortly thereafter; but made no commitments.
For months, I would just go and listen to what was being said. Finally,
in December, I went to one service in which this Christian was going to give
a
message he had already prepared. By service time, he mentioned the message
he had prepared, but felt moved by God to give another unprepared message
and did so. This message was about it being time for people to get serious
with God because although He is a loving, merciful and forgiving God, He
is
not one who will be mocked either. Proverbs 1:20-32 and Galatians 6:7,
8 were given as references.
Then the parable of the great supper was given (Luke 14:1-35), where many
were invited by the King but they made light of that invitation and made
excuses not to come, in their self-righteousness. Then the King deemed
them not worthy and sent His servants out into the streets to invite all
who
would come. Without a doubt, I knew in my heart this message was meant
for me.
that was the day God moved to compel me to get serious with him or to walk
away. So, after the service and being back in my cell I paced the floor
with
tears in my eyes, afraid and unsure of what to do. Finally though, I made
the decision to get on my knees to pray:
"Heavenly Father, I need You to help me. I need You to love me and remove
the fear in my heart with the images of Gilbert haunting me. I need You
to
come into my heart, dear Jesus, to be Lord and Savior of my life unto eternal
salvation as I do believe You are the Son of God, who died for the
sins of the world, which includes me, and that God raised you from the
dead into eternal life, where You now sit at the right hand of God's throne
as my
merciful High Priest. Save me sweet Jesus. Please come and save me. Amen."
In that same day of saying that prayer, I felt like the weight of the world
was lifted off of me and that same night I slept like a baby for the first
time in years, "Kind of scary too, but certainly a great relief indeed."
Instantly, God took profanity off my tongue, which even I knew then it
could only have been by His doing and not of my own (St. John 15:5 and Philippians
4:13).
As I began to read God's Word, pray and try to walk in His light (Matthew
5:16), He started doing many things for me. He let me see how He removed
years of hate from my heart, taught me how to freely pray for my enemies,
forgive others as He has freely forgiven me and how to love myself enough
to
love others who have no understanding of love (Matthew 5:45-46). Something
I did not understand for 36 years!
Officers who knew me on death row were skeptical at first and rightfully
so, considering the way I was for my first seven years ('90-'97). As my
attitude
began to change, however, the guards started talking about the change in
that Zimmerman guy. A few of them did for sure, but I give all the praise,
glory and honor to my Heavenly Father as only Jesus could have changed
me (I John 4:4). And only Jesus can be glorified in how He has used me in
several
situations to witness to others, with a certainty, already.
Carefully taking in God's Holy Word of truth, I eventually came across
two scriptures that personalize my salvation. One signifies where I was
spiritually before accepting Jesus Christ - Psalm 55:4-6, "My heart is
sore pained within me; and the terrors of death have fallen upon me." I
was
afraid to go to sleep. The other signifies where my spiritual state has
been ever since I accepted Jesus Christ - Psalm 91:1-5, "He that dwells in
the
secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty
and he shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that
flies by day." Free in the precious and righteous blood of Jesus!
Sure, the vision of Gilbert appears now and again and yes, I do stumble
in my walk (Proverbs 24:16). In fact and unfortunately, I backslid for a while;
but God pulled me back by me counting on Him - through my faith - to hold
me up (Isaiah 40:31, 41:10). And, yes, I do get angry at times by the way
we
are so wrongfully treated on death row. However, in humbleness I do catch
myself to realize that what I go through here is nothing compared to what
Jesus suffered (a torturing and humiliating death), for the world and for
me. Therefore, I try to remember His words when Satan tempts me to sin in
my
anger: "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." (Luke 24:34).
God called me to salvation through His son Christ Jesus by two Christians,
"Brother Buck" and "Brother K.C.", but even more importantly so, it was
my
spiritual Mother "Cathy Cox", who took me under her caring love in 1990.
In whom God used to chip away that hate without me realizing it, to prepare
me
for the day of repentance seven years later.
Just as a testimony by a man who has gone from death to life row. And as
I know today of the power of God's love, mercy and forgiveness, who now
lives
in me, I do pray my story will encourage you to open your heart to God.
Call on Him, believe in His son Jesus Christ and invite Him into your broken
heart with humbleness. I know with a certainty that the day you confess
you need God's forgiveness and confess Jesus is the son of God who died on
the
cross for the sins of the world and that God raised Him from the dead,
by inviting Jesus into your heart to be your Lord and Savior, not only will
you
be spiritually saved, but God will so change your present life for the
better. Romans 10:9-17. Believe in Him, trust in Him, and give Him a chance.
In Love and Peace Always,
Kevin Zimmerman #000977
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, Texas 77351
USA
******************************************************************************************************
December 25, '03
THE RIDE - by Kevin Zimmerman.
At the end of my visits with loved ones December 10, 2003, which was at 12
noon (the day of my execution), the Major said: "It's time Zimmerman". For
me it was a welcomed blessing in my personal spiritual faith. A strength
of peace, assurance, preparedness and excitement for a journey into the
promised land that humans are ever searching for here on earth described
as Utopia. Nevertheless, while this was to be genuine relief for me it was
chilling to the bone for my family. Comforted in my assured peace yet, but
cringing at the thought of losing me. Feelings they could not hide.
Being handcuffed and taken back to building 12 where death row is housed,
I was strip searched, electronically checked and then given State issued
boxers, a jumper and cloth slippers. A waist belt was put on me that had
chains running down to the leg irons already in place while my hands were
being cuffed to the waist belt. With the wardens, captains and several officers
present, I was walked outside and put into a caged area in the
back of a van. After official papers were exchanged and signed, the back
gate of building 12 was opened and we proceeded to the main prison's
back
gate. What seemed to be an hour was only minutes as we waited for the front
and back escorts to arrive with enough firepower for WW III and the
quick ride to the Walls Unit in Huntsville, TX.
Though I was chained like a dog and had to hear the remarks of self righteous
TDCJ-ID officers on their feelings/beliefs about me (murderers
in general), and what we all deserved, none of it bothered me at all. For
I was in a zone no one could rob me of. So I thought!
As we travelled down the highway, my excitement of peace and joy increased
and left me smiling as I saw people walking, sitting out on their porches,
kids playing in their yards, adults getting into their cars to come and go
as they pleased, etc. A symbolic sign of what was sure to be my physical
release of a chain around my neck for over 16 years. An oppressed confinement
where your label 'Death Row' keeps you from earning privileges
regardless of what your behaviour is. Spiritually free indeed. Yet the physical
restraint that was coming to an end was rapidly coming to an end
was every reason to smile for. So I thought!
Just like that the van was cruising through a narrow maze that came to an
end deep within the prison where the death house was located. The back van
door opened and then the caged door. I was helped out of the van with only
3 ft to the building door I'd enter, to the hall of death. I remember
looking up into the clear blue sky saying to myself 'Beautiful Day'. I then
took a deep breath and walked into the death house. A hall of 5 or 6
cells with one covered with screen used for attorney/spiritual visits.
I was unshackled, strip searched again (to make sure I didn't stop at a local
US Army surplus store I guess), to make sure that nothing could be
fashioned into a weapon, since a key was no longer necessary. Ah yes, once
you're there you're treated like a human being with no chain cuffs or leg
irons. How courteous of them.
I was then finger printed to make sure I was the right Kevin Zimmerman because
what a mess that would be for them if they killed the wrong Kevin
Zimmerman. I washed up, put on better clothes and went into a cell where
I was to wait at full attention for the Warden to come in. There was no
doubt that a good ole boy pep talk was at hand, as to how death was done
at the Walls Unit in Huntsville. Took it all with humour of course, as a
couple of officers were amazed by my cooperation and joy. All praise of this
observation is to God who prepared me as a Light.
The Warden walks in and introduces himself and sincerely asks if I'm all
right, which I confirm with a 'yes'. "From here on in you'll come and go
without restraints and if there is anything you need ask and we'll get it
for you, within reason of course." He then explained that at 6.00pm he'd
come in and walk me to the death chamber where I would be strapped down,
and I could go on my own or by force. I assured him of my Christian walk
and there'd be no problems out of me. I was then told my spiritual advisor,
Kathryn H Cox could come in for 30 minutes but the prison
Chaplain would be there throughout the day. Trying to hold back a tear he
told me there was still no change. He asked if I used drugs, and if so if
I had any problems with my veins. Surprised by his genuineness, I found added
comfort in knowing he took NO pleasure in what could transpire. He
then left and the officers all relaxed.
Chaplain Lopez and I conversed for quite some time and drank tea. 3.00pm,
the warden comes in and informs me the 5th circuit had denied me. "Yes."
I
said with a smile, which I gathered he and the others thought I was a good
faker or serious about being ready to go. He then left once again.
My last meal was brought in. An egg and breakfast patty sandwich, fried pork
chop, fried chicken, French fries, lots of ketchup, 4 milks and a
chocolate cake was what I ordered. All ordered and based on small portions
on our daily trays left me embarrassed because there was no way I could
eat it all. Chaplain Lopez bailed me out and ate with me while we talked
in depth on scriptures and the power of God. That time allowed him to
assure the others I was truly at peace and on a spiritual level for a peaceful
end.
With time winding down I was able to make calls to the hospitality house,
so it seemed to speak one last time with my ex-wife, my Aunt and my friend
from Switzerland. I then called home to talk to my 18 year old son, then
with my 15 year old daughter, then with my son again and I told him this
was it and then we said; 'Til next time' and hung up.
Several minutes later, 15 til 6.00pm, I was told; "We're taking you back."
I felt like a baseball bat had hit me in the face and then felt all of my
spiritual and emotional life sucked right out of me. One officer said "Drama",
to insinuate I was faking. "No, that's real," the Major who knew
me said.
A woman came in and asked "How do you feel? Were you surprised about the
stay?"
"I'm disappointed. I was ready to go. The stay only means 18 more months
of this crap." I responded in a low voice. Which for clarity here, I meant
18 more months of the oppressive conditions on death row with its modernised
dungeon (Bldg. 12) at the Polunsky Unit in Livingston TX.
Instantly I was chained like a dog once again and thrown into the van's dog
cage and on my way back to a place I prayed I'd never see, touch or
feel ever again. I cried in confusion asking God "Why?" I cried even more
so as we came within distance of the prison lights that made me realize
what it all meant. The strangest of all it was the combination of feeling
let down and/or rebuked by God and an ominous sign of the yellowish
grayish tint of this large moon hung so low it was as though I could get
up on top of the building, reach up and touch it.
In the events of my fast paced life, learning I was adopted at 7 or 8, my
severe head injury at age 10 that messed me up so bad my grades
dramatically declined, in which I became freak retarded Frankenstein's other
half before my school peers who rejected me, losing my grandfather
at the age of 14 who was the one member I truly bonded to. That left me cursing
God. None of the above events, single handedly, was as cruel as
what I went through with four months of preparation, physically, spiritually,
mentally, emotionally, only for it to be taken away. Not two
weeks or even two days before but 15 minutes. Definitely the cruellest thing
that I'd ever experienced.
For two days I was disappointed and depressed as I prayed for understanding.
And then I came to realise it isn't about me but rather
God's purpose which could have been for me or maybe for the benefit of another
person or many. As I was then ready and willing to accept this
blow in humbleness I get hit in the face yet again. On the 5th day as the
Supreme Court vacated my stay. Yes, I lie not, my disappointment and
depression was quickly turned to anger. I'm a strong Christian and my faith
in God will not be broken by NO man. Nevertheless, I am a human
being with feelings which includes anger. If one can not envision what I
have gone through to understand that anger, then let them remain ignorant
in their own self righteousness. I WILL NOT act on that anger in no way,
shape or form, but I am angry and rightly so.
As this Christmas day has come and gone I am slowly beginning to heal from
the harsh reality of what I experienced in the past 15 days. Yet I'm still
wounded indeed from "The Ride".
Kevin Zimmerman,
Brother Zee
NEWS ARTICLES ON THE EXECUTION
HUNTSVILLE, Texas (Reuters) - A man who murdered an oilfield worker
in a 1987 robbery has been put to death in the third execution this month
in Texas.A sobbing Kevin Zimmerman, 42, apologised for the crime as he received
a lethal injection while strapped to a gurney in the Texas death chamber on
Wednesday."In the name of Jesus, I am so sorry for the pain I caused you all,"
he told execution witnesses while choking back tears. "Gilbert didn't deserve
to die and I want you all to know I am sorry."Zimmerman came within 20 minutes
of execution last month before his attorneys won a stay on grounds that
lethal injection, the favoured manner of execution in the United States,
is cruel and unusual punishment. They argued that the recipient is paralysed
by the injection and unable to describe the pain they suffer before death.
The stay was overturned and a new execution date set when the U.S. Supreme
Court rejected the appeal. Zimmerman was condemned for killing oilfield
worker Leslie Gilbert Hooks in a Beaumont, Texas motel on October 23, 1987.
He confessed to stabbing Hooks 31 times so he could get his wallet.He was
the 316th person to be put to death in Texas since the state resumed capital
punishment in 1982 after the US. Supreme Court lifted a national ban on executions.
Twelve more executions are already scheduled this year in Texas, which
is the nation's leader in capital punishment. For his final meal, Zimmerman
requested a cheeseburger, French fries with ketchup, four half pints of milk
and chocolate cake
Man repentant before execution
for 1987 Beaumont killing
By Brian Lacy/Managing Editor Six weeks after Kevin Zimmerman
had hoped his life would end, the Texas death row inmate was executed Wednesday
night inside the Huntsville "Walls" Unit. After receiving a stay of
execution on Dec. 10, less than 20 minutes before his death sentence was scheduled
to be carried out, Zimmerman said he was disappointed and feared the stay
would lead to "18 more months of this crap." But a Supreme Court ruling one
week later led to his execution being quickly rescheduled. On Wednesday,
Zimmerman's final statement brought tears to his family as well as the family
of his victim, Leslie Gilbert Hooks Jr. "In the name of Jesus, I am
so sorry for the pain I caused y'all," Zimmerman told Hooks' family as he
choked back tears. "I am sorry. Gilbert didn't deserve to die and I want
y'all to know I am sorry." After telling the warden he was ready,
Zimmerman started praying before stopping suddenly in mid-sentence as the
lethal dose of drugs began flowing through his body. KaTreena Reed,
the younger of Hooks' two daughters said she didn't expect Zimmerman to apologize,
but was glad he did."I feel he was very sure about it," said Reed, who was
a toddler when her father was killed. "If he felt back then the way he did
now, he never would have done it." Zimmerman, who described himself
as a born-again Christian, was condemned for the 1987 fatal stabbing and
robbery of Leslie Hooks Jr., 33, a Louisiana oil field worker staying at
a Beaumont motel. Hooks had been stabbed 31 times. In a statement released
to the media Wednesday afternoon, Zimmerman called for federal legislators
to pass a law that prevents any state from setting an execution date until
all of an inmate's appeals are exhausted. It
is not fair for an inmate's life to be toyed with by the justice system when
they know that these appeals could change things," he wrote. "It is not fair
nor is it responsible for the states to allow victims' families to be put
through that same cruel stress again and again." Zimmerman was the third
inmate executed in Texas this year.
Brian Lacy is managing editor of The Huntsville Item. He can be reached
at (936) 295-5407, ext. 3025 or by e-mail at blacy@itemonline.com
*************************************************************************
Kevin Zimmerman has been on Texas death row for 13 years.
He is asking for twelve
people willing to make a one time donation
of $10.00 (US) to
him to assist with some immediate needs.
The CCADP offers free webpages to over 500 Death Row Prisoners
Contact us for more information.
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This page was
last updated February 16, 2004
Canadian Coalition Against the Death Penalty
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